In order to be truly happy, you must first identify and then address the blind spots that are holding you back. Oftentimes, we don’t even realize that we have these biases because they’ve become so ingrained in our thinking. But if we want to break free from the limitations they impose, we need to be aware of them. Once we’re conscious of them, we can start to work on changing our mindset and creating a happier life for ourselves.

Here is a list of common biases:

1.) Deletions:

• Truth avoidance

• Overlook facts that are not comfortable

• Leads to a disconnect from reality

Example: “She only accepted information that was comfortable for her.”

It’s so easy to delete a fact if it doesn’t align with our understanding of the situation. We can choose to avoid truth that doesn’t fit within our vision. But is this really living in truth?

With the invention of the internet, people are able to find information that supports their beliefs and ignore anything that goes against it. This confirmation bias allows people to live in their own little bubbles where they are only exposed to information that agrees with them. While this may make people feel better in the short term, it ultimately leads to a disconnect from reality.

People are able to cherry-pick the information they want to believe, and ignore anything that doesn’t fit within their worldview. This has led to a situation where people are living in their own version of the truth, and reality is becoming increasingly relative.

2.) Black and White thinking:

• Extreme polarized thinking

• Avoidance of the complex nuance of situation

• Often expresses with concepts like: All-or nothing, should, always, never, perfect, or impossible

• Leads to extreme emotions

Example: “People are either good or bad.”

When it comes to the way we think, humans often tend to think in absolutes, or what is commonly known as black and white thinking. This type of thinking can often lead to extreme emotions and behaviors, as we either see ourselves as perfect or complete failures.

This way of thinking can be harmful as it doesn’t allow for any shades of gray or middle ground. It’s important to try and avoid black and white thinking in order to live a more balanced life.

3.) Assuming the past will recreate itself:

• Forecasting the future will mirror events from the past

• Assumptions about the future’s outcomes that do not align with reality

• Can prevent you from setting and working on goals

Example: “I know how this diet will end.”

Assuming that one instance from the past will dictate all future instances is a flawed way of thinking. This mode of thinking can often lead to missed opportunities and wasted time.

It’s like thinking that if you jump off a cliff and survive, everyone else who jumps off a cliff will also survive. It’s not logical, and it’s not always true. Just because something happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again in exactly the same way.

4.) Jumping to conclusions:

• Predictions without evidence

• Based on belief or bias

• Prevents us from seeing truth

Example: “He didn’t answer my phone call. He must be avoiding me.”

Jumping to conclusions is a type of thinking that often leads to negative interpretations or predictions, even when there is no real evidence supporting the conclusion. This way of thinking is often based on our personal biases or beliefs. Jumping to conclusions can have a negative impact on our lives, preventing us from seeing the truth or making wise decisions.

This sort of thinking is often based on what we think. Our thoughts can sometimes be influenced by outside sources such as other people, the media, or our own experiences. If we are not careful, we can let these things control how we see the world and the people around us.

5.) Catastrophizing is a common but harmful way of thinking that can lead to anxiety and depression.

• Imagining disaster

• Minor negative event blown out of proportion

• Extreme reactions that see things as much more significant than they are

Example: “If I don’t lose weight I will never find the love of my life.”

We’ve all been there. Something small goes wrong and we catastrophize. We take a fairly minor negative event and blow it completely out of proportion, imagining all sorts of disasters resulting from the one small event.

If you’re the type of person who catastrophizes, you’re probably familiar with that feeling of overwhelming dread that washes over you when something negative happens. You might even feel like you’re doomed when something as small as your alarm not going off in the morning throws your whole day off.

6.) Personalizing:

• Taking things personal

• Thinking what happens is because or about you when it isn’t

Example: “He said he wasn’t having a good day but I don’t know what I did to upset him!”

We’ve all been there before. You’re going about your day and someone says or does something that totally gets under your skin. It’s important to remember that not everything is about you. When you take things personally, you are assuming that the other person is reacting to you – when in reality, they may not be. This can lead to feeling unnecessarily hurt and can cause problems in your relationships.

Most people have experienced feeling like they are the target of someone’s bad behavior, when in reality, the situation may have nothing to do with them. This can be a very frustrating and confusing experience. However, it is important to remember that not everything is about you. Sometimes people behave badly for their own reasons and it has nothing to do with you. If you find yourself in this situation, try to take a step back and see the bigger picture.

7.) Victimization:

• Learned helplessness

• Belief that change is not possible

• Based on experiences, beliefs, and society, they see themselves as victims

Example: “I am broken beyond repair.“

Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to escape a feeling of being subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment? If so, you’re certainly not alone. Many people deal with similar feelings on a daily basis. It can be easy to fall into the trap of victimization, learning to be helpless, or feeling excessive pity or sympathy. Racially and anti-racially charged comments often have this baked in. But it is important to remember that you are not powerless.

8.) Labeling:

• Generalizing and categorizing

• Judging all people or experiences the same

Examples: “All men are pigs.“ “It never goes my way“

In our society, we are quick to judge and label others. We see someone do something we don’t like and we immediately label them as a bad person. We do this without knowing anything about them or their situation. We don’t take into consideration that the person may be going through a tough time in their life.

We also label ourselves. When we ‘label’ ourselves based on our behavior in specific situations, we define ourselves by one specific behavior (usually a negative behavior) and fail to consider other positives. This can lead to a negative self-image and low self-esteem. We may also start to believe that we are defined by our label and that there is no way to change. However, it is important to remember that we are not our labels. We are complex people with many different facets to our personality.

9.) Emotional Reasoning:

• Strongly using feelings as a guide

• Thinking our feelings are always aligned with reality

• Excluding logic when it doesn’t align with feeling

Example: “I love him! He is perfect for me.”

We all have moments where we let our emotions guide us. We may feel like we are in love, and therefore we must be. We may get angry at someone, and assume they must have done something wrong. This is called emotional reasoning, and it can be detrimental to our lives if we let it control us.

Emotional reasoning can lead us down a path of self-destruction. In psychology, emotional reasoning is a cognitive process in which a person allows their emotions to influence their beliefs. This type of reasoning is usually based on the premise that if something feels true, then it must be true. However, this way of thinking can often lead people away from the truth and towards distorted or irrational beliefs.

When we allow our emotions to dictate how we think, we are engaging in emotional reasoning. This can be a dangerous way to make decisions because it doesn’t take into account logic or facts. We may believe something to be true simply because we feel it strongly. However, just because we feel something doesn’t make it true. It’s important to question our emotions and not let them control our lives.

10.) Strict Adherence To Rules:

• Assuming there is only one right way

• Rules about what should and shouldn’t be done

• Inability to discern what is correct for the present moment

Example: “Eating fruit for breakfast is the healthiest way to life.“

It’s human nature to want to know what the rules are. We like knowing that there is a set way to do things and that if we deviate from that, there will be consequences. It feels safe and comforting to have these guidelines in place. And when someone breaks one of these rules, it can feel like they are personally attacking us or our way of life. But why do we feel so strongly about rules?

In today’s society, it’s important to have a set of rules to follow. Whether it’s at home, at work, or in our personal lives, rules provide structure and stability. Without rules, we would be in chaos. However, rigidity in rule keeping can often lead to problems. When people break the rules, we can get angry and upset. And if we break the rules ourselves, we can feel guilty and ashamed.

But why are some people so insistent on sticking to the rules, even when it’s clear that doing so is causing problems?

There’s nothing quite as frustrating as dealing with someone who won’t bend the rules. Whether it’s a friend who always has to have things their way or a colleague who never takes responsibility for their actions, rigid rule keepers are a pain to deal with.

What is our fascination with these ways of being? How can we put an end to the cycle?

 This is part 2 of a companion article. Click Here to Continue [Read Part 1]